Me and the fire

Me and the turkey

Me and the machine gun

Me and world domination

Me and Google Translate

Me and Network Rail

Being something of a girly girl, I play a lot of silly girly games on Facebook. I have to confess to being something of an It Girl addict. I may well fail all my exams as a result of that stupid game.

I also use these silly little things like sending hearts, kisses and hugs to friends. It is very, very gay but fun. It is basically a collection of small images that you send to friends and they get posted onto their wall. Mostly I send silly ones to my friends but I sometimes receive flirty ones from other Facebook people. Usually they are quite harmless and flirty.

There was one guy who started sending me kisses. It was a bit weird because he was like 50 – basically almost old enough to be my granddad. Anyway, he started sending me innocent flirty kisses to begin with and, because I’m a flirty girl, I sent them back. OK I know that was probably egging him on but I see it as my duty to reveal perverts.

So over a short period of time, the images of the kisses were getting more and more risqué. So much so that after a few weeks he was basically sending me soft porn. Then he started sending me actual porn.

He eventually plucked up the courage to send me a message and, being the dutiful and unsuspecting innocent girl I am, I answered and we began a short exchange of messages before the inevitable attempt to lure me into bed started.

In short, we both live in the same county. He wanted me to come to his house where he said he would – and I quote – “fuck me so hard I would scream for mercy”. He said he desperately wanted me for his girlfriend, despite the full knowledge that I was 15 and he was 50. He has 2 daughters. 1 is 8 and 1 is 4. I feel sorry for them!

Oh and he lives in South Ockendon, Thurrock, Essex and he is a train driver.

Verdict: Network Rail cause more chaos!

Kevin Corrick: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002172617266