Me and Facebook: March 2012

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Me and the effortless retards

It’s amazing the lengths some people will go to try and cyber fuck females on Facebook. I mean I’ve had guys who have spent weeks – even months – casually chatting me up and pretending to be nice so as to try and lull me into a false sense of security before attempting to have their wicked way with me via their keyboard. In some ways I grudgingly admire their dedication. I mean that takes a lot of patience and effort.

I’ve had countless fake lesbians approach me which means that these desperate guys have gone to a lot of trouble to find a number of pictures, register an email address and create a profile just for the sole purpose of having an imaginary affair with their computer screen. I’ve had people who have created several different profiles so as to give the impression they are real by having other friends. They even interact with these other fake profiles and make up stories on their wall about how they both enjoyed seeing each other the previous night just to make it look like they have a proper friendship when all they are effectively doing is talking to themselves. Isn’t that called schizophrenia?

So it baffles me why, when they go to all this effort, none of them bother to make the effort to properly read my profile. If they did, they would save themselves an awful lot of time and also save themselves the embarrassment of being publicly humiliated. My inbox photo albums are public, my link to this blog is public, my profile information contains the most insane ramblings in the history of humankind so it should be obvious that I’m not going to be an internet slut.

The other thing that is public on my profile is my relationship status to my beloved (and real) boyfriend and all my photos are visible to my friends so why is their opening gambit almost always “Do you have a boyfriend?” and “What do you look like?” Seriously, do they not have eyes or are they genuinely that retarded?

Of course I get the guys who open with “I’ve seen your pics and you are sexy” (although less literate than that) and that also baffles me. They obviously looked at my profile so surely would have seen my relationship status and general information. They must have checked out my albums but only noticed the ones of my face. Did they not notice the 2 most prominent ones labelled “A sneak peek at my inbox” and “Heather’s voice mail service” both are rammed full of sarcastic taunts to retards…

I shouldn’t really complain. After all, without them my days would be far less entertaining.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Me and the hi

Part 1: This guy never stops. I could probably dedicate an entire blog to his insane drivel. As well as being a great source of personal amusement, he is also extremely annoying. Messaging me every day and saying "hi" and then saying "hi" again when I've already replied with "hi" and then repeating the same routine day after day is, without any shadow of a doubt, annoying!