Me and Mean Meena

I started a lively and fun debate on my wall because of this post I wrote about a perverted twat called Aditya Meena. This is just a small snippet of why I believe he should be hanged...

Me and the military IQ test

Seriously, what the fuck?

Taken from the new "Heather's IQ Test" album on Facebook

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Me and the Taliban goat rapist

Part1: His initial requests to cyber fuck me are rebuffed. Apparently he doesn't like being called a retard...

Part 2: After his revelation that he is a member of the Taliban, he refuses to listen to my quite sage views on his beloved Allah and the holy Prophet Muhammad (piece be up him). The only thing left is sarcasm...

Part 3: If any of you can make sense of what he is trying to say, please email me. Thanks.

Me and the Nigerian marriage

Part 1: Is he proposing, or trying to steal my identity?

Part 2: His plea after I posted my response on my wall

Me and the Facebook divorce

OK so I recently posted a status on Facebook asking why none of the perverts I've reported for messaging me pictures of their tiny genitalia and trying to cyber fuck me ever get banned. I also asked why, when I abuse them and post their sick drivel on my wall for the amusement of others, do I get banned when the cunts report me. I also asked why, when they then threaten to rape me and kill my family and I report them, do they not get banned but when I return the insult by informing them their beloved Prophet Muhammad was nothing but a goat-raping, mass murdering child molester (because most of them are Muslim) do I get banned.

I ended my little rant by asking Facebook if they were, in fact, on the payroll of the Taliban. It seems these days that it's OK for these goat rapists to come into our country illegally, blow things up and decapitate innocent people but we aren't allowed to verbally abuse them because, you know, that's Islamophobic or whatever.

Anyway, that pisses me off. Seeing sick and sexually repressed Middle Easterns constantly posting porn on Facebook pisses me off. Allah pisses me off. Hearing these cunts threaten to murder the whole of Western civilisation and then in the same breath claim their religion is peaceful pisses me off. However, what pisses me off the most is this...

Seriously Facebook. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself. You are supporting terrorists and shitting on your own people. Please go fuck yourself!

Me and the cyber period

Me and Puru Puru sauce

Me and the Facebook Finger

Me and Mr Manning... so far

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Me and the war on Turks

Part 1

Part 2

Me and the rules of engagement

OK so it works like this: I get a lot of friend requests on Facebook, Aside from a handful of nice people, most of them turn out to be idiots and perverts. I generally accept most people who add me. The exception to this rule is if they have a picture of Justin Bieber or an actual penis as their profile picture, or if their name is spelt in Arab hieroglyphs.

So anyway, the rules are like this. They will usually send me an inbox message saying “Hey sexy” or “Hey babe”. Anyone who introduces themselves to a complete stranger in that manner is obviously a weird pervert and, as such, will get owned.

If they start with something normal like “hello” or “hi”, I usually take a quick glance at their profile. If their profile picture contains either them or some fake homosexual model showing a six pack, or their profile is full of sex pages, they will get owned.

If they seem relatively normal, I usually say hello back. Their next message is inevitably something like “how r u?” or “what r u doing?” Their fate will depend on how they handle my response, because my response is usually something random and innocuous like “I have reached a level of peace that would make Ghandi shit his nappy” or “I am currently creating a black hole for the purpose of sucking Justin Bieber into oblivion”.

It’s quite simple really. If they are a pervert or an inbred moron, they won’t get it because their tiny pee-sized brains are incapable of understanding sarcasm, irony or satire. Their miniscule sexual organ does all their thinking for them so they only know how to respond to words like “pussy” or “fuck off”. These people will get owned.

If they manage to respond with something witty or equally insane and random, then they obviously have something resembling intellect (or insanity) and, as such, qualify for a place in Heatherist society.

So now you know!